,
It’s quite the sad state of affairs when a travel blogger
becomes totally dependent on having to rely upon her 17 year-old niece’s
digital snapshots and tales of global wayfaring in order to add a hint of
authenticity to her wacky weekly blog post entries. No recent get-away to gush about, no
entertainingly amusing wanderlust adventures to scribble about, no tall tales
to rave about. Nada. Nothing.
Zero. Zilch. The well had run dry and drought had descended
upon the land. Land? What land?
On the road not well travelled, of course.
 |
| The good ol' days of traipsing around the globe |
Robert Frost would certainly have taken the road less
travelled by, opting to instead choose one of two diverging paths in the wood,
traipsing along on adventures unknown, relishing the undiscovered journeys that
lay ahead. Me Miss Pink Sneakers, on the
other hand, had no such luck, stuck in a quagmire of work and responsibilities,
unable to jet-away at a moment’s notice, languishing my life away amongst the
drudgery of endless bills, lamenting my lack of trust fund issues. For, you see, nary a pink sneaker clad
tootsie had set foot upon foreign soil in almost a year. No travel, no stories, no pictures, no
memories. Nada. Nothing.
Zero. Zilch.
And so, desperate measures require desperate actions and
when one is all tapped out and has a primarily picture-less travel blog, especially one that is dependent upon picturesque glossies of the National
Geographic inspiring kind, what’s a cuckoo ol’ Auntie to do but hit up the Kid
for her stash – of pictures and back-packing memories. Asking (actually begging, if you must know) Miss Niece into relinquishing a few of her
photos was a task of monumental proportions, an exercise in frustration,
determination and all-out bribery. After
all, her lunatic old Aunt has a weekly blog to maintain and come hell or high
water, the schedule must be strictly adhered to and pictures must be posted
alongside cleverly worded scribbles.
And so, every Tuesday evening, I found myself in the
undesirable predicament of a partially penned tale, cursed with full-blown
writer’s block of the non productive kind, wondering whether this week’s blog
post would be the one that laid bare the bones of my lack of creative genius,
desperately grasping at straws for a spark of inspiration to flitter my
way. Seizing an opportune moment to move
on in, Mr. Writer’s Block boldly took up residence in my corner of creativity,
a soon to be permanent squatter of the uninvited kind. To make matters even worse, Miss Niece had
once again neglected to send said promised vacation photos, leaving her poor
ol’ Auntie in quite the conundrum, for a blog with neither content nor pictures
makes for quite the pathetic travel memoir indeed. Sad.
But true.
 |
| Type, damn keys, type!!!! |
Awake way past the witching hour and rising with the crows,
I grew accustomed to spending Wednesday evenings in a comatose and bleary-eyed
state, staring blankly at the computer screen, wondering whether this would be the
week that the charade was over. Ears
perked for that long anticipated “ding”
in my Inbox, the incessant tic tock of the clock counting down the minutes till
midnight, I dejectedly resigned myself to the fact that this week’s blog post
would be non existent, content-less, picture-less and post-less.
 |
| Zzzzzz - the picture speaks for itself - hey, Miss Kid, where are those pics? |
Like, seriously, why couldn’t Miss Kid just keep to her word
and send one or two pics my way? Quite
the nerve-racking process, this being held in limbo, required quite the stoic
disposition, a bit of fortitude and copious amounts of vino tinto to help ease
my tattered nerves into a tranquilized state of liquefied bliss. Glued to the laptop, perched on a hot bed of
tender-hooks – waiting – waiting – and endlessly waiting – for that musical
ping of a “ding” to ring in my ears
signalling that magical eureka moment
of pictures sent.
Nothing. Nada. Zero.
Zilch.
Time then, to reach for yet another soothingly intoxicating
bevie. One. Two.
And then a bit more. You get the
picture. At least someone does.
The Kid, meanwhile, was grinning mischievously on the other side
of cyber-land, methodically waiting until the very last second to hit “Send”, successfully succeeding in
pushing her ol’ Auntie even closer to the edge of insanity, thus accomplishing
her goal of rendering the batty old Bag even wackier than cuckoo. A deviously wicked plan. Cunning.
Cruel. Brilliantly executed. And true.
And so yet another weekly blog post was mere seconds away
from being published, right on schedule, with a few frazzled nerves acquired in
the process, tears spilt, pencils broken and one too many liquid libations
guzzled.
Natch. Piece of
cake. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Just another day in the life of a jet setting travel
blogger.
Come hang out with cuckoo ol’ Auntie Nora as
she scribbles her way around the world, desperately trying to cram in 52 weeks
of travel tales into a 3 week vacation, with a wee bit of help from Miss Smarty
Pants Niece to supply her with extra material, if and when required.
Come traipse around the world with the best
of them and read all about the highly dysfunctional dynamics between a batty
old Bag and a know-it all Miss Kid.
Next week- what next?? Yikes!!
There’s more??
Stay tuned for more Miss – adventures of
the Kid and Auntie Nora inspired kind!!
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