The Amazing Race taken to the next level of absurdity - Miss Kid and cuckoo ol' Auntie Nora style, of course!!

Miss Kid has long been fixated on accomplishing the impossible.  She’s fearless, a bit of a daredevil and stubborn as a bull.  Quite the contrast to her cuckoo ol’ Auntie, who’s a bit of a shopaholic, travel-a-holic and vino indulging batty old gal.  Miss Niece’s one and only goal in life is to travel the world, soak up the sights and set up camp in the Palace of Versailles so that she can hang out with the long-dead Queen and swap tales of life at Court.  Delusional.  But true.  A top second is to outrun her globetrotting old relative in the race around the globe, checking off a smidgen more countries than the wacky old Bag (quite the appropriate terminology, as her Auntie is somewhat of an obsessive satchel hoarder) could ever hope to do.

Dreaming of life as a lady in waiting at Court in Versailles

The race is on.  Who will cover more territory is a shorter frame of time?  Who will be the first to chalk off Australia?  And what about Monaco?  And, last but not least, Zimbabwe.  It’s quite the shame, though, that no one bothered to tell her wacky ol’ Auntie (that would be me!!) that there was a serious competition underway, an Olympic jaunt of circumventing the earth, on a marathon like none other, travel taken to an entirely new level of outlandishness.

And, the icing on the cake, to achieve all of this by the time she’s twenty.  Like, seriously??  And. Then what?  Languishing in front of the telly for the next 60 years?

Okay then.  That’s a lot of miles to cover, school and part-time work to miss and tons of dough to dish out.  There’s something to be said for youthful optimism.  Or, more likely, a warped sense of reality, one most likely based on tuning in to one too many episodes of lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.  The Kid had already beat out her ol’ Auntie by having set her hot pink pedicured tootsies on the sun bronzed isles of Greece, a parcel of land that her mother’s sister had not yet had the privilege of gallivanting about.  But hey, Miss Niece, your ol’ Auntie’s got a bit more mileage on her, a good 40 years or so, where you’ve got the gift of time and the rest of your life to traverse the globe. 

The Kid recently had the privilege of jetting off to the land of magical carpet rides, hanging out with sheik sultans, yachts and camels in ultra-rich over the top decadently chic Dubai.  Her ol’ Auntie sat mesmerized for days on end, drooling over glossies of Miss Niece’s nights spent languishing under the starry-eyed heavens, childhood dreams of One Hundred and One Arabian Nights swirling in her head, just a tad envious of the Kid’s exotic sojourns.  Just a wee bit.  Like, geez, the closest her ol’ Auntie’s ever gotten to a camel was eyeballing one at the zoo, un-elegantly tripping over the pungent droppings of said exotic animal.  Messy.  Smelly.  But true.  Does that count for something?

The Amazing Race taken to the next level, with Miss Kid in the current lead, weeks away from jetting across the pond to yet another foreign locale, another coveted stamp soon to be added to her now burgeoning passport.  Grinning from ear to ear, envisioning her poor (literally!!) ol’ Auntie sitting dejectedly at home, lamenting her travel-less state, Miss Niece was smug as a bug, secure in the knowledge that victory was hers.

Are you certain about that, Missy?  Little did Miss Smarty Pants Niece know that she was soon to have the rug pulled out from under her, as I’ve been busy hatching a plan and plotting the next sojourn – one that didn’t involve languishing on the sofa or watching endless re-runs of long outdated travel documentaries.

As if the world is her oyster.

And, hey, Miss Kid, your allowance can only get you so far!!

Nonetheless, youth will be youth, and lessons must be learned first-hand.

The showdown is on. 

Who will succeed in racing around the globe, claiming victory to be theirs and theirs alone?  Tune in each week for more Miss – adventures of the Miss Kid and the not so daft or cuckoo ol’ Auntie Nora kind.

Next week – what next??  But, more importantly, where to next?  The adventure continues…

Greece and Dubai pictures courtesy of Maradzidra.

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