The Kid and Auntie Nora (Miss Bored vs Miss Shopaholic) traipsing along the cobblestoned avenues

You know you’ve got some serious issues when you realize that you’re just a wee bit in awe of your 17-year-old niece.  Yes, the Kid will be pleased as punch upon reading her middle-aged Auntie’s hesitantly scribbled words, screeching in joy whilst twirling round and round the looking glass that is the center of her world.  The inner workings of the teenage mind are beyond complex, the myriad of personalities that greet each day are as varied as there are days in the year and the deliberately contrived personas too numbered to count.  So, in a nutshell, it goes without saying that having to traipse halfway across the globe with Miss Kid in tow, therefore becomes a challenge of exponential proportions.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Will today be the day that I dejectedly trudge from one tourist sight to another with Miss Annoyingly Bored?  Or will I be pleasantly surprised at having the unbelievably great fortune of scampering along the cobblestoned rues and avenues with the Princess of Sugar Pie Sweetness, only to be rudely pummeled out of my delusionary state by mid afternoon, subjected to the rough edged brashness of a walking, talking encyclopedia of “I’m prettier, smarter and above all, wiser, than you” Know it all Teenager?  Yikes!!  What have I gotten myself into?

Sometimes moody, sometimes charmingly adorable and other times dramatically outspoken, the Kid certainly did not fail to both amuse and irritate, cleverly succeeding in pushing the limits of her middle-aged Auntie’s patience into the stratosphere of no return.

Not content to merely meander along the well-worn pink-sneaker footprints of her mother’s oh so eccentric wacky older sister, the Kid had already become annoyingly frustrated with having to schlep her burdensome luggage through the capitals of Europe and was bored beyond belief, yawning at having to preen and pose yet once again at le tour Eiffel and queue with the rest of them in snaking line-ups at the over-crowded tourist infested top 10 attractions. 

  • Big Ben – Seen it
  • The London Eye – Been there, done that
  • Carnaby Street – Oh, so yesterday!
  • The Louvre – I’ve already posed with the Mona Lisa, and guess who’s the prettiest?
  • The Palace of Versailles – Still searching for the Queen
  • The Colosseum – It’s crumbling and has somewhat of a shady history, like, seriously, didn’t you know?
  • The Leaning Tower of Pisa is leaning, need I say more?
  • And Venice is sinking

Photo courtesy Maradzidra

You get my drift, oh, and speaking or should I say, writing, of drifts, the Kid vowed to never again place a pretty pink manicured tootsie on board any type of ferry, as memories of last summer’s endless ferry crossings from one Greek isle to yet another, were still too raw and nauseatingly fresh, to have to bear.  Sicker than a dog for the duration of the journey, the gentle swaying and rollicking of the vessel too much for her queasy tummy.  Yikes! Guess then that I’ll have to wait until the last minute before springing the news of our upcoming ferry crossing from Dover to Calais – why rock the boat earlier than necessary?  Let’s just hope that the Kid can swim.

Greece photos courtesy of Maradzidra

Tagging along with her cheapo designer obsessed frugal ol’ Auntie, whose sole mission in life is devoted to securing that highly coveted limited edition satchel, leaving no stone (shop, actually) unturned, the Kid vowed (here we go again!) to never ever again pound the pavement for hours on end in quest of that 80% reduced bargain basement priced exclusive treasure.  Just because her lunatic odd relative (the key word here is crazy) is hell-bent on scoring that deal of a lifetime, Le Niece vowed to, in the future, park herself on a bench, guzzle endless gallons of soda pop and languish the afternoon away in contented bliss awaiting her cuckoo Auntie’s return from power shopping and handbag acquisitions. 

Handbag acquisitions of the shopaholic kind

The Kid, therefore, was neither shocked nor surprised upon sight of her bedraggled Auntie miserably limping home after the shops had closed for the night, sporting both a miserable state of mind and unusually bright, bleeding and blistered tootsies.  Ouch.  Close to spitting out the words “I could have told you so”, Miss Perfect Niece instead smirked and quietly snickered, held out her hand and escorted her shopaholic ol’ Auntie to la Pharmacie for bandages and some soothing medication at Le Vino de Jour.

And the moral of the story is?

Who’s the smarter cookie here – the ever so clever Kid or her slightly cuckoo ol’ Auntie? Stay tuned for more adventures of the Kid inspired kind.

Next week – Where to next?? Looks like we’re heading to Greece or thereabouts.

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