Have baggage, will travel (with or without owner). Miss Kid's escapades in Portugal - Part 2

You know that your highly anticipated vay-cay just got down-graded to one tad short of miserable, as you spend what seems to be hours glued to your spot by the emptier than empty luggage carousel, desperately imploring the gods of Baggage for the safe return of your now AWOL bags.

Bug-eyed and bleary-eyed, Miss Kid and Grocery Gal were in quite the predicament indeed, as they were literally the last man standing, helplessly stranded in a Portuguese airport without a clue as to what to do next.  For you see, the mischievous gremlins of Luggage Gone Missing were in their heyday and had thrown a wrench into the girls’ first grown-up over-seas adventure by executing a brilliant move of grab, snatch and hide.  A game of hide and seek of the wickedly disruptive kind.  Tee hee.  Tee hee.  Tee hee.  And the laugh is on whom??

Why sprint out of the airport lickety-split, when you can instead spend the first leg of the journey dejectedly hanging out in said location whilst anxiously darting up and down the stairs and corridors on a desperate quest to retrieve your now missing belongings?  Not exactly the most ideal scenario and not quite what the gals had initially envisioned for the start of their holiday.  Looks like languishing on a sun drenched beach and splish splashing in the turquoise waters will have to wait, to be replaced instead with a tsunami of waterworks of another kind.

It goes without saying that full blown-out pandemonium had by now erupted at baggage claim, with full-out wailing, screeching, bawling and cursing the new order of the day.  Marching en masse, a small army of irate travellers had by now descended upon the respective airline counter, throwing daggers of hatred at the hapless staff, who were clearly at a loss as how to pacify the disgruntled herd.  Expletives, spewed in a melange of dialects and tongues, could be heard far and wide, as a war of words was brewing in a volcanic eruption of the not so pleasant kind. 

It’s quite the misfortune then, that Miss Kid and Grocery Gal’s Portuguese vocabulary was limited to just five words in total:  Hello, Beach, Sunblock, Mall and Shopping.  Sad.  But true. 

So what’s a pair of Canadian teenyboppers to do, but resort to what they know best, and that, my dear reader, would be snivelling.  Yes.  Snivelling.  Spilling one crocodile tear after the other, in hope of garnering a wee bit of attention to their cause, the forlorn gals from across the pond pulled out all stops and went for the gold.  Those poor suckers at the Lisbon airport had no idea what they were in store for, bombarded by an onslaught of drama that could only be perfected by calculating teenagers of the deviously conniving kind.

The gals’ Academy Award winning performance of a lifetime was a resounding success, reaping each the reward of a 75 Euro voucher, enough to pay for overnight essentials such as PJs, toothpaste and a change of clothes.

It’s too bad, though, as they didn’t actually have to resort to such dramatic measures, as the policy of their respective airline was to issue these types of vouchers to all such passengers whose luggage had gone temporarily missing. 

Just don’t anyone tell the girls.

Did I mention that a full-fledged downpour was waiting in the wings?

Come hang out in the baggage claim centre of some foreign airport on the very first day of your beach holiday, clue-less and luggage-less, struggling to converse in a language that is as clear as mud.  To add misery to the mix, the forecast was calling for non-stop rain, wind and hail.  And just where was that umbrella??

Stay tuned for more on Miss Kid and Grocery Gal’s escapades in “sunny” Portugal.  Are they eventually reunited with their long-lost luggage?  And, pray tell, what about that incessant rain?

Next post - In two weeks!!  Catch up with the fabulous adventures of cuckoo ol' Auntie Nora's slightly smarter niece on Wed November 12th.

(Lisbon pictures courtesy of Maradzidra)

Those mischievous gremlins of Baggage Gone Missing have struck once again!!

Squelching to an abrupt halt mid-way through peak tourist season, the once over-burdened baggage claim carousel at Heathrow International was quite the pathetic sight indeed, devoid of any tumbling, rumbling or bumbling noises whatsoever.  No longer belching out any type of valise or carry-on, with luggage at a standstill, the once bustling treadmill of baggage had completely conked out and had gone kaput.

Luggage, oh luggage, wherefore art thou??

Every couple of minutes or so, the carousel would hiccup, spitting out randomly assigned pieces of luggage, such as that brighter than bright 70’s orange neon one, you know, the one plastered with dozens of those tackier than uncool slapped on decals, brashly bragging of umpteen continents traversed.  And even the very last piece of luggage standing, that decrepit beat up old tattered one that’s held together with reams of sticky tape, was hastily grabbed, lest, heavens forbid, the Gods of Lost Suitcases revoke their claim on newly snatched luggage.

Having quite the field day in baggage claim with all pandemonium breaking loose, the mischievous gremlins of Baggage Gone Missing were in their glory, gleeful that their crazy ol’ shenanigans to cause full-blown havoc were making quite the impact of the annoyingly disruptive kind.

Doubled over in hysterics whilst choking on fits of impish laughter, the not so nice gremlins of travel disaster were on a mission to trip up the well-laid plans of any globetrotter in sight.  With the goal of disrupting travellers far and wide looming on the horizon, their ridiculously packed agenda included a melange of twists and turns, a roadmap, or should I say, roadblock, to a highway of impending baggage hell.

The dreaded curse of Empty Baggage Carousel had struck once again and this time its target was none other than newbie world traveller extraordinaire, Miss Kid, on her first grown-up sojourn across the pond.  Surely her shiny brand spanking new lighter than light black backpack on wheels is patiently waiting in the wings, anxious to get up and go and carry on with the first leg of the journey, which, incidentally, wasn’t going quite as swimmingly as planned.  For, you see, an unexpected glitch with all things baggage had gone awry, with denizens of backpacks and suitcases now haphazardly scattered around the globe.  Ownerless and homeless, yet even worse, left to an unknown fate of spending the remainder of their long anticipated vay-cay locked up, languishing in some stuffy old foreign terminal storage hold, awaiting their marching papers.  Like, seriously, how fair is that?  Bags packed, not ready to go.

Lost luggage - please come home!!

And, to think, the initial start of the journey started off without a hitch, with Miss Kid and side-kick (better known as Miss IGA, whose nick-name, incidentally, was hatched from selling produce at her part-time gig at a local grocery store chain), scoring big time; snagging those highly coveted bulkhead seats, happier than you know what, cosily nestled in upgraded economy class comfort of the almost first class kind.

What could possibly go wrong?

It had all commenced upon landing at Heathrow, that gigantic melting pot of 747s, suits and back-packers, all scurrying about the business of jetting from Point A to B, on a race against time to high-tail it lickety-split through temporary transitory holding hub in as quick and efficient a sprint as possible.  That was the plan, a totally do-able one in theory, yet quite the far-fetched one in reality.

For you see, those devilishly wicked Gremlins of Baggage Gone Missing had set up shop and moved on in, unwelcome squatters with nothing but mischief on the mind.

Next week – Stay tuned!!  Do the temperamental mood swings of Baggage Gremlins out of Control get the better of Miss Kid and Grocery Gal, two clued-out teenagers en route to the sunny beaches of Portugal, now travelling with only the clothes on their backs?  Who will win the battle of luggage??  Are the gals eventually re-united with their knapsacks??

Due to quite the over-load of Pink Sneaker commitments, my next blog post will be posted on Wednesday, October 29th.

Stay tuned for the continuation of the adventures of Miss Kid and Grocery Gal in Portugal.

(Pictures courtesy of Maradzidra)